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Cherlilly

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Reply with quote  #1 
Bev,

I didn't want you to miss seeing this. I posted it in another place. My sister made it for me. I picked out the song and scriptures and pictures and she wanted to do it for me. It meant so much to me. She just sent it to me tonight when she was done with it. I hope you are feeling better and gaining strength each new day. I think of you so often!





Cheryl


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DX 8-14-07
Invasive Medullary Carcinoma
Triple Negative
Stage 1c
Grade 3- Poorly Differentiated
Lymph Node-Negative
bac10

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Reply with quote  #2 
Thank you, Cheryl.  I did see it and it is amazing.  You are so beautiful!   I also love the song you chose. 

My daughter, Amy did one like that with pictures of our whole family going back many years for my birthday last month.  She played it at a big birthday bash the week all of my children and grandchildren were here.  There were a lot of other family and friends at the party and I don't think there was a dry eye in the house when it was all over.   She made copies for all of the family and it is something I will always treasure.

I saw the oncologist today for the first time since I finished treatment.  He changed me from Arimidex to Femara starting tomorrow.  I was in so much pain all of the time from the Arimidex.  I hope the Femara works better.  I'm also still anemic, don't know why but he says we'll keep an eye on it.  I see my family doc next week and find out what he has to say about it. 

My biggest problem right now is emotional.  I really need to find a way to get past this but can't seem to.  I was taking Effexor but the side effects were so bad that I stopped and am back to crying all the time.  My family doc is so supportive and will help me through this.    I pray every day for patience and know that God is going to take care of me. 

I think of you every day and check here for your posts.  One day we're going to have to work on a meeting. 

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Bev

Cherlilly

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Reply with quote  #3 
Bev!

Email me your phone number.  I want to call you!
Here's my email.......
cherlilly12@yahoo.com

Thanks!
BIG HUGS from me to you!  AND YES!  We most defnitely are going to get through all of this!  I share in your emotions.  I want to talk to you!
Cheryl

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DX 8-14-07
Invasive Medullary Carcinoma
Triple Negative
Stage 1c
Grade 3- Poorly Differentiated
Lymph Node-Negative
Karen1956

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Posts: 1,218
Reply with quote  #4 
Bev - hugs to you.  I too could not take Effexor.  there are other anti-depressants - its has taken me several months to find the right meds - but still working on it.  I have been on all the AI's and I think for me Aromasin has been the kindest.  I also take Neurontin to help with joint pain - and a nice side benefit of it is it helps with the night sweats.
 
You just finished rads and it is a hard time to move on after Tx.  Be gentle to yourself and realize what you are feeling is normal.  I hope you can find the right meds and that things will get better.  Hugs to you. Karen
nosurrender

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Reply with quote  #5 
Bev, I am in that place too.
I feel emotionally wrung out.
In my head, I know this is normal because last time around I felt this way. But for some reason, THIS time, I am having a really hard time snapping out of it.

It is a matter of trust.

We have to learn how to trust our bodies again. We have to learn that it is possible that we will be WELL again. And I KNOW this to be true because I was well again after my last cancer.

There also is the matter of our spirits. The whole time we were fighting and bearing the brunt of all the chemo and surgery and radiation we were brave and kept on fighting. Our spirits were in charge of that. Now that it is over and the external healing has begun, we have to remember that internal healing has to happen too. Our SPIRITS that were so brave and strong for us need us to acknowledge all that we have been through and say, "It's ok. You don't have to be on Red Alert anymore. You can now breathe." That is a really hard transition  when you have been literally fighting for your life for months.

It almost feels like we were on this crazy ride in a runaway car and suddenly the car stops and leaves us on the side of the road and we are left to try to find our way home again. It is frightening, lonely, disorienting and full of so many unknowns.

But I learned in 2002, that we do find our way home again. Things DO fall into place and become recognizable to us and most of all, we start to feel safe again.
But it takes time. And that's ok. You have been through a lot so take as much time as you need. Just never forget, you will feel like YOU again. And someday soon, you will notice a change and it is like your spirit is being lifted and when you feel those first tugs of joy deep inside you, you will know that this is behind you and your spirit has finally healed.

I promise, it gets better every day.  You may not notice it. I know I am not noticing it enough right now, but I know from experience the healing process is at work deep inside and things will be much better soon.

Hugs and love to you,
g




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nosurrender

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Reply with quote  #6 
Dear Cheryl,
THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!!!
I am sitting here in tears!
I remember that first post you made on my blog and now look at how you got through all of this.
Your smile fills my heart with joy.

I edited your post so the link will be a picture right there on the page.
That video is too good to miss!

Thank you for sharing that!
Love,
g


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CommandoBarbie

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Reply with quote  #7 
Cheryl - Just beautiful! Thank you for sharing it with us!

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