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JoanofArdmore

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Once again, The Washington Post has published the
winning submissions to
its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are
asked to supply
alternate meanings for common words The winners are:
           
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
           
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight
you have gained.
           
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a
flat stomach.
           
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while
drunk.
           
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
           
6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you
absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.
           
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
           
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
           
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up
after you are run
over by a steamroller.
           
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
           
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
           
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing
adopted by
proctologists.
           
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
           
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his
conversation with
Yiddishisms.
           
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand):
The belief that,
when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and
gets stuck there.
           
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer
shorts worn by
Jewish men .
           
The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked
readers to take any
word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
subtracting, or changing
one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this
year's winners:
           
1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid
people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer,
unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.
           
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself
for the purpose of
getting laid.
           
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which
renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
           
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very
high.
           
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of
sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.
           
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when
you are running
late.
           
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
           
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one
got extra credit.)
           
9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is
sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth
explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer.
           
10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting
through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
            
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
           
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas
to seem smarter
when they come at you rapidly.
           
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance
performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
           
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito
that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast
out.
           
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding
half a grub in
the fruit you're eating.
            
           
And the pick of the literature:
           
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an
asshole






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with the rainfall.
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nosurrender

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Reply with quote  #2 
Innuendo (n) - An Italian enema

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WE WILL PREVAIL





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Reply with quote  #3 
Love it!




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4/1/08 Stage 4
and looking for NED
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Reply with quote  #4 

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an
asshole
 BWAHAAHAAHAAHHAA!!!


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saying.. i will try again tomorrow.
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