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Kim_Becht

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Reply with quote  #1 
I had mentioned earlier in another post that I had decided to go ahead and shave my hair before it started comming out.  My son said "go ahead and shave it mom, Rock the melon".  Its a phrase that has turned into this thing that my friends and family have really embraced in an effort to prepare me for my impending hair loss.
Well, I woke up today and noticed little hairs all over my pillow.  So I immediately went up and rubbed the stubble I have on my head.  Its comming out like soft butter! I have complete bald spots. Boy when it happens it happens, huh?
Ive been preparing for this moment and think Im taking it reasonably well but, Im not going to pretend...  This is hard and it really F***ING SUCKS!! Its like for a woman our hair really is such a defining femine crowne.  I know the hardest thing really will be the stares.  I know my son tells me to rock it, but I cannot say I will be able to.  Im still not sure where I even am in this "feeling process" as of yet, but what I do know is...In about 3 or 4 days I will be completely officially BALD!
OMG.

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MicheleS

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Reply with quote  #2 
{{hugs}}

The hairloss is hard, I know.  But, it grows back!!

I went bald at home but didn't out in public.  But, I rarely wore a wig... mostly scarves.  Now, my hair is ~ 1 inch long and I don't wear anything on my head anymore.  It feels strange but I got so tired  (and HOT) covering up.  (I started going *topless* when it was only a few mm long.)

Michele

PS.  A lint roller rolled on your head will spare you the stress of a hairy pillow. 
CherylG

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Reply with quote  #3 
Hi Kim
For me losing my hair was very hard. When it started to fall my friend shaved it for me and I always wore my wig as I felt more "normal" that way. Everyone feels differently. As soon as it started to grow I took the wig off though. As my wig was a short style everyone thought I just had gotten a very short haircut. It does indeed grow back ... and I must say rather quickly when it starts.
Hugs
Cheryl


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nosurrender

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Reply with quote  #4 
Hey Kim,
Like Michelle said - Do you have a lint roller with sticky tape on it? Roll that over your head and it will get all that stubble off.

Last summer my hair was less than an inch long. Now I have it up in a ponytail.
This is one thing that returns back to normal....

BUT WHAT THE HECK DO YOU DO IN THE MEANTIME?!

If you don't feel comfortable "rocking the bald" you don't have to go bald. I really couldn't deal with that. I always had something on my head.

Have you considered a wig? Mine looked better than real. In fact, the only time I ever got compliments on my hair was when I wore my wig! I am serious.

Did you see the wig section of the website? We break down the different types of wigs you can get.

It was hot as hell wearing it when I had to work in the garden or mow the lawn, so I bought a half hair piece which has an elastic band around your head and the long, hair hangs down under it. I could throw on a bandanna or a straw hat and it looked and felt great.

here is one: http://www.hatswithhair.com/HowToOrder.aspx that I liked very much.

I also wore a soft, knit hat at night because I didn't like the feeling of sleeping without something on my head. My mom made me one with baby yarn, really soft.

Remember to be good to yourself.  Take care of your skin and wear soft things that you like to have against your skin. Wear colors that compliment your features.  Pick scarves that are pretty. You don't have to wear a baseball cap, you can still be very feminine  in scarves.

I hated not having hair, but I really did get used to it and then I saw it coming back. Little fuzz that is barely noticeable turns into stubble that grows and grows. Next year at this time you will have hair again.

Do what YOU feel like doing. There is no reason why you have to dread going to the supermarket because of the questions and stares.  There are tons of options out there for you.

big hugs to you,
g


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MicheleS

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Reply with quote  #5 
I bought most of my scarves from
http://www.headcovers.com

Here is a pic of me on vacation sporting one:
Photobucket

And, here's me in my favorite hat/scarf combo ('tho I didn't wear the hat to mass or work... just scarves like above:
Photobucket
I posted my wig and fuzzy head on an earlier post.  I'll take a pic of my head tonight to prove to you how fast it grows!! I just finished my taxol on 6/18. Just a sec...

MicheleS

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Reply with quote  #6 
ok... here it is! see? it almost looks like I cut it that short on purpose!
Photobucket

{{hugs}} You'll get used to being bald.  It will get better once the initial shock wears off. Instead of fixing your hair in the morning... you'll put on a wig, a scarf,  a hat, or some sunscreen.

kmobley

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Reply with quote  #7 
Is there anything that speeds hair growth?  I have had 6 Taxol treatments.  My hair has started to come back in and is as dark as when it fell out.  However, it seemed like it started coming back in readily but now the process has slowed. 

When my hair started falling out, I bought a wig, set it on my head and cut it like my hair was cut.  Many people have told me they didn't know it was a wig.  I have been pleased with it.  I also bought those big cotton bandanas in pink, navy and black to wear if out in the yard. 

Somewhere on this website, I learned the greatest thing for a tired head that has been under a wig is Seabreeze -- so cool. 

Kay
kmobley

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Reply with quote  #8 
Michele,

I see your daughter has red hair.  I have a special place in my heart for redheads.  My daughter also has red hair.  She worked for Toyota for several years but is now working for KIA (the Korean car company).  Redheads make things happen.  They always seem to be high-paced and productive.

Kay
mommaj

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Reply with quote  #9 
Kim,
i cried so much over losing the hair...my kind onc told me that my friends wouldn't care, my family, my kids--it didn't change anything to them--he said that they would look at my face and still see "me" inside...it really was true! my kids (all 9 of them) said they liked the look. I still wore my wig to church and nights out and used scarves and bbcaps the rest of the time.

Sure, people still stared...even i still stare now when i see a bald head but not because it's unattractive but just striking!!! I have seen more bold women this summer braving the completely bald look with pride at the store etc--they are beautiful! and brave!

the kindest gesture i received was at a wedding shower when i first made an appearance with my stubble...i was feeling way too self-conscious and ready to bolt until my friend's teenage daughter sat next to me and without a word stroked my soft, balding head, kissed it and told me that it was cool...i cried...so sweet her gift to me...

i think it was difficult to face losing the hair because immediately I was visually tagged/identified as having cancer--i could run but couldn't hide and had to come to terms with things as they are...

we are right here with you, standing right beside you with bald heads, new chemo hair, or fresh memories of such...
we understand
we care
we love,
janeen


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"And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?...Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:27,34
Kim_Becht

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Reply with quote  #10 
Thank you ALL so much.  My heat is just overwhelmed with love right now. I knew I was sent here for a reason.
Gina, I will try that trick to see if I can get this stubble off because right now I look like somthing the cat drug in but felt so sorry for couldnt kill! lol
I have a huge bald spot right in FRONT and several patchees in other places.  It looks like a globe and my stubble is land and bald spots are water!
It was very emotional having my hubby look under my scarf.  I cried, he kissed it and told me I was beautiful. I dont believe him, but he sure is a sweetheart anyway.
I do actually already have a wig.  My mom took me 2 weeks ago right after my first chemo.  Its a really cute A-line and has chunky bangs and lots of pretty highlights. I tried it on last night and just thought UGH, I just feel like I LOOK like I'm wearing a wig.  maybe this to will pass? 
Remaining hopeful

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mommaj

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Reply with quote  #11 
Kim;
I just had to respond again...I felt the same about my wig right after I put it on but jumped in and went grocery shopping. I was walking out to the car and this random strange voice from behind was calling "yoo-hoo". She said my hair was really shiny and pretty and asked me where I got it done...I didn't have the heart to tell her it was a wig...I smiled all the way home! And remember, only you will know when it's time to retire the wig...
ps your husband sounds like mine,sweet....
janeen

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"And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?...Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:27,34
StacyL

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Reply with quote  #12 
I'm looking around the forums tonight and this one always gets my attention.
I think this was probably the hardest thing to go through, for me.
mommaj said it exactly. Now I am labeled. It was obvious.
I shaved my head and wore hats the whole time. I had 2 wigs but didn't like the way they felt/looked. They were not for me. I guess I was lucky in the sense that I didn't work during all of my treatment. I babysat at home. I might have wore a wig otherwise.
Michele - your hair looks a little like mine. I am getting excited, but a little frustrated about the uneven, fuzzy, boy look. It's at an awkward length. I have an appt. on the 27th to get a style-cut and color. I'll post pics then.
biotin helps the hair grow faster. Gina was kind enough to send me some when my hair started back. Love you girl. It helped my fingernails too.
Kim - I feel for you so much. I got about a 1/2 inch braid on one patch of my hair tonight. I play w/ my hair. Twist it....I have since I was a kid. It's like having my security blankey...lolol
when I lost my hair I lost my security blankey. It's weird how I can actually get an inch or so in my fingers and play w/ it again. I never thought this day would come. BUT....IT'S HERE.
HANG IN THERE............
Kim_Becht

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Reply with quote  #13 
Fingernails?
I hadnt even thought about this!!
What do I need to expect?
Right now my nails are so pretty and strong.  

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MicheleS

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Reply with quote  #14 

I don't remember the type of chemo you are getting but they can/will discolor and may fall off.  Mine have lifted and discolored but I didn't lose any.  I kept mine super-short and used Burt's Bees hand cream on the nails/cuticles at night.  AquaPhor on the cuticles can help too.

Kim_Becht

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Reply with quote  #15 
Ive been researching and talked to the Dr about things I can do to lesson the effects on my nails.  I hate this idea as much as I hated the idea of loseing my hair.  Its only because I bit my nails all my life until about 5 years ago and decied I was going to stop. They grew out so strong and pretty, my pride really.  But I try and keep my focus on what is important which is the chemo.  Its saving my life and I can live without pretty fingernails for awhile.
I still want to do anything I can to lesson the side effect.

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Jennine

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Reply with quote  #16 
Hi Kim,

I am in the middle of treatment, just started the Taxol. I am doing better then I was in the beginning. I had very thick, long hair. I shaved my head almost 2 weeks into my first treatment. It was coming out little by little and I waited until the last possible moment to cut it. I cried like a baby when I shaved it,  I did. I hated losing my hair, my long beautiful mane. But I had to do it, and I did, and survived it. I have to admit, I miss my hair but I am starting to see it coming back a little. Michele is right, you get used to being bald. I walk around the house bald or with my pink baseball hat, I feel comfortable with that. My husband loves my fuzzy head he really does. He bugs me sometimes because he always wants to touch it. He says it's adorable and it reminds him of our kids when they were babies. Whatever!! But he likes it.  I don't wear scarves, don't know why, I just didn't like them on my head..but I see many women wearing them and I think they are pretty. I wear my wig only when I have to, when I go out. I wore it to the beach once and it got so hot I whipped it off right there and put on my hat. lol The wig does get hot and itchy at times, but I do like my wig because I don't think many can tell I am wearing one and it makes me feel more confident.
My nails started getting these black lines during my second treatment and they are still there. My nails did not get thick and didn't fall off, they just got discolored. I paint them a pretty pink and keep them short. I also use pure tea tree oil on them (when I have no polish on them) because it has antiseptic properties in it. I think it helped keep my nails from becoming brittle and the oil absorbs into the nail and makes them look nice. I really think that oil saved my nails.
All in all Kim, I am proud of myself for what I have gone through so far, and you will be proud of yourself too. You can and will do this and will be writing a post soon being a mentor for someone else.

Hugs and love to you girl,

Jen


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nosurrender

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Reply with quote  #17 
I just have to say I am busting my buttons at you girls who are so wise and wonderful mentoring our newbie Kim.... You all have gone through so much and not that long ago and look at you now!!
That is what this  place is all about- the sisterhood - I feel so lucky to have met each of you, I am sitting here with tears in my eyes.

I wore my wig or some covering all the time. Only Mr. Fluffy knows what I look like bald.

When I got my wig I went to the hairdresser and had it cut to my style. It made it look so much more "me"
Michele, I LOVE your pictures. That last one is how long mine was, maybe a little longer, when I finally went out topless. It was to a big, family wedding. I spiked it and wore long earrings and people who didn't know me thought I had a short haircut.

I remember the post office lady mentioning to me that she couldn't believe I cut off all that pretty hair of mine... she was referring to the wig!

Janeen, I got compliments and questions too about where did I get my hair done!
KAY definitely TAKE BIOTIN it will help your hair!!!
Stacy, I am SO GLAD the biotin is working.

I take it every day-
If you are done with chemo you can take it too, it really helps hair and nail growth.

Jen, you are a beautiful person inside and out. Your husband sees it. I am glad!

Kim, I lost a toenail. It got funky and came off, but my fingernails were fine.
I like the polish called Dura polish. It is better than Nailtiques for growing nails and keeping them that way.

Take your wig to your hair salon and have her cut it into a style while you are wearing it. That way it becomes YOURS and it looks and feels so much  better!

I will tell you again, last summer I had a crew cut, this summer it is in a pony tail!

When you all have your hair growing in and it isn't behaving, use product!!
Get waxes and gels and slick it back or spike it up. Highlighting your hair makes it look fuller. And my newest trick is buy John Frieda's Clear Color Glaze and use it every time you shampoo. If your hair is growing in course and too curly, it smooths it out. I have been doing this for about a month now and my hair is like it is brand new!!!




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