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It's been 9 years since my dx and a couple months ago, I found a lump in my remaining breast. It is oval shaped and soft and movable, so I know it could be a cyst, but it could also be cancer. I kept canceling my mammogram out of fear, but finally went last Wednesday. Thursday the phone kept ringing and I didn't answer. Friday, I got brave and called the hospital, and sure enough I was being recalled for further investigation. After all the worrying about the lump in the inner part of the breast, it didn't even show up on the mammogram! It's the outer part. They want to do spot compression mammograms and an ultrasound of the breast and axilla. I was shocked and totally freaked out. All they said was that there was some arcitectual distortion in the area of the axilla, and a lymph node looked a little enlarged.

 There is an area under my arm that feels thickened and kinda lumpy. It's been there for years and sometimes it's a little sore. I just learned to live with it it because I kept going to my family doctor about it 8 or 9 years ago and she would feel it and say that it's just fat. Could it be cancer? I'm so scared.

My appointment for the mammo and ultrasound is June 8. I had already decided that even if the lump I was worried about in the first place was just a cyst, I was going to get a mastectomy. I can't handle this worry all the time. I have an excellent surgeon who I'll be seeing on Wednesday. Hopefully, she'll be able to tell me something to make me feel better. The hospital felt that I should wait for the other tests before seeing her, but I can't wait that long. I'll go nuts!

 Any advice or support would really be appreciated. I'm very, very frightened and anxious.


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Goddess Forever
Posts: 2,525
Reply with quote  #2 
Hey Curlygirly,

First, congrats on the loooong anniversary. That is great! Second, they didn't even see the lump that you feel. That might also be good. Now to the underarm area, it may not be anything but it is good that they follow up. Since you had it for years, it might not be anything at all.
I totally agree with the fear and the mastectomy, that's why I had mine done too. Maybe the breast surgeon can give you peace of mind about the 'new' area of concern. If it is concerning, you caught it early because you are pro active.

One day at the time. Did anyone recommend an MRI? I'd push for that too. 
Holding you hand. Take a deep breath. You are not alone
Hugs and prayers for 'all clear'!

~ There are lies, damned lies and statistics ~

Posts: 1,940
Reply with quote  #3 
Hi Jeanette,
  I'm so sorry you are having to endure this awful fear again. I always feel alone with my fear of "Is it back?" I come here where everyone understands.
  No one can say yes or no to such a life changing decision, only you. But I most definitely understand your thoughts about having a mast. I DON'T think it is radical or out there to be thinking about it either. Whatever you decide we will all support and help you through. I'm glad you have an appointment with your surgeon whom you trust and I am sure she will help you will feel less scattered after speaking with her. I know my go to doctor no matter what is my family doctor. Not that he is a specialist in any area of cancer but I trust him and value his opinion. I always make sure he is in loop.

Let us know what your surgeon had to say Wed. I wish I would have seen this before hand so I could have also held your hand while you waited for your appointment. I hope and pray everything comes back with the all clear. I will be looking for your post and offering you my support also.


courage does not always roar. sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day
saying.. i will try again tomorrow.
~maryanne radmacher

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Posts: 7,476
Reply with quote  #4 
Hi Jeannette,
I hope you are hanging in there! I totally understand how you feel. 6 years after my first diagnosis they found a new one in my "good" breast. But it sounds to me like they are being super thorough... so it may be that they are taking extra care of you because you have a previous history.
Please let us know what happens.
As far as getting a mastectomy- once I had mine done, I felt nothing but RELIEF.
lots of love and hugs to you



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