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Indigoblue

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Queen Blue Sky & Golden Light
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Reply with quote  #21 

Carrie,
You posted on my facebook page that you liked this drawing, called Chemo Queen of the Pinklands... It is NOT meant to offend anyone... it's how I felt throughout my Breast Cancer Treatments.  I was, and continue to be, puzzled by the entire experience... questioning, always questioning...
Thank you, for letting me know you like some of my artwork... I feel honored to know you enjoy some of the portraits.  I don't think they are very good, but, this is how I get through difficult times in my life.  A secret place to hide... a place I've known all of my life.  I encourage everyone to draw, paint, and put together a self portrait... perhaps you will share one here... as well. 
 
Writing words, drawing pictures, collecting rocks, walking in the forest, dreaming about Angelic forces of the universe... deep meditation, are a few of the things that have helped me to hobble along on this journey.   I love you, Carrie...
Please forgive me if I yell, rant, complain, squeak... scream a bounty of noisy nothings... What bothers me most about the beast is the helplessness to change the world, and to make this Cancer Monster, disappear.  Prayer is powerful, although my beliefs are obtuse, deeply personal, alien, odd, strange, based on faerie dust and cosmic dreams, I believe there is a heavenly place where we will all meet again, without pain, sorrow, and in peace... I know there is strength in goodness, love, faith, friendship, and hope...

Love,
Indi
csp

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Reply with quote  #22 

Indi so many of your drawings I love and understand.

How can this be viewed as good or not good? You can't. You either understand it or feel it. It is raw emotion, feelings, thoughts. It is not something you can judge in that way.

This one speaks to me of the overwhelming confusion fear and inner voice whispering in our heads and at times screaming. On the outside she is composed in her appearence and inside there is all this onslaught on body and soul and mind. Moving through the day like a little robot and all the while bombarded from the inside. I understood her from the first, and even more so now.

 Each day I ask my higher power who is  God, to take the fear and disease and I am trying to act as if, until it happens. I believe that like Ghandi said, each and every belief is all contributing to good, and each has good. Mine like yours are deeply personal and I take what speaks to my soul a combination of much. But the common foundation of all is kindness, love and respect for each other and all living things.  The rest is kinda like sprinkles and whipcream.

Thank you for bringing her here . I Love you my artistic expressive Indi.

Love,
Carrie


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courage does not always roar. sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day
saying.. i will try again tomorrow.
~maryanne radmacher
seychelles

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Reply with quote  #23 
Dear Carrie,

You earlier quoted Clarissa Pinkola Estes.  I read her book, Women Who Run With the Wolves, again every year.

She has talked about "first witnesses", those who experience trauma first hand, whose experience cannot be truly understood by anyone who is or was not there first hand. She also talks about "walkers", those people who walk beside first witnesses, hoping to be of whatever help that they may. She was a long-time walker with the families who lost someone on 9/11.

She also said, "you have to howl to find your pack."

I want to be a member of your pack and a walker with you until you are healed.

Love,
seychelles
nosurrender

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Reply with quote  #24 
Indi, I love that picture. Love it!

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WE WILL PREVAIL





csp

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Reply with quote  #25 

 



The Light of God surrounds me.
The Love of God enfolds me.
The Power of God protects me.
The Presence of God watches over me.
The Mind of God guides me.
The Life of God flows through me.
The Laws of God direct me.
The Power of God abides within me.
The Joy of God uplifts me.
The Strength of God renews me.
The Beauty of God inspires me.
Wherever I am, God is!



__________________
courage does not always roar. sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day
saying.. i will try again tomorrow.
~maryanne radmacher
csp

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Reply with quote  #26 
 For my dearest Indi. I didn't write this myself but collected some fairy facts  sprinkled with love and fairy dust just for you~





Few folk have seen  Faeries
But I found these just  for you.
If you believe with all your might
They will  make your dreams come true.
The rustle of the wind will remind you that I and the Faeries are near."
 And when the fear is pressing near just say Come faeries, take my mind out of this fearful place, and I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like flame.  They will lead you through the painted mead. Where the light fairies danced upon the flowers  Hanging from every leaf an orient pearl through all suffering, fear and pain. And as the season come and go, here's something you might like to know ... there are fairies everywhere under bushes, in the air, playing games just like you play, singing through their busy day. So listen, touch, and look around -- in the air and on the ground. And if you watch all nature's things, you might just see a fairy's wing."
 So spread your wings Indi and let fly the fairy in you!


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courage does not always roar. sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day
saying.. i will try again tomorrow.
~maryanne radmacher
nosurrender

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Reply with quote  #27 
beautiful

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csp

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Reply with quote  #28 
 Prayer to St. Jude
Most holy apostle, St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the Church honors and invokes you universally, as the patron of hopeless cases of thing almost depaired of. Pray for me. I am so helpless and alone. Make use I implore you of that particular privilege given you to bring visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of. Come to my assistance in this great need that I may recieve the consolation and help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings, particularly fear and ridding my body of cancer . and that I may praise God with you and all the elect forever. I promise O blessed St. Jude to be ever mindful of this great favor , to always honor you as my special and powerful patron, and to grateully encourage devotion to you.

Amen.

__________________
courage does not always roar. sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day
saying.. i will try again tomorrow.
~maryanne radmacher
seychelles

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Reply with quote  #29 
Hey Carrie,


Love,
seychelles
SoCalLisa

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Goddess Forever
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Reply with quote  #30 


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"One's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions."
-Oliver Wendell Holmes
seychelles

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Reply with quote  #31 
Dear Carrie,

There is a ripple in still water where there is no pebble tossed nor wind to blow.

Take heart.

Love,
seychelles

csp

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Reply with quote  #32 

If my words did glow with the gold of sunshine
And my tunes were played on the harp unstrung,
Would you hear my voice come thru the music,
Would you hold it near as it were your own?

It's a hand-me-down, the thoughts are broken,
Perhaps they're better left unsung.
I don't know, don't really care
Let there be songs to fill the air.

Ripple in still water,
When there is no pebble tossed,
Nor wind to blow.

Reach out your hand if your cup be empty,
If your cup is full may it be again,
Let it be known there is a fountain,
That was not made by the hands of men.

There is a road, no simple highway,
Between the dawn and the dark of night,
And if you go no one may follow,
That path is for your steps alone.

Ripple in still water,
When there is no pebble tossed,
Nor wind to blow.

But if you fall you fall alone,
If you should stand then who's to guide you?
If I knew the way I would take you home.


__________________
courage does not always roar. sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day
saying.. i will try again tomorrow.
~maryanne radmacher
csp

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Reply with quote  #33 

Seychelles,
That song reminds me of this poem that I love and Lisa's beautiful golden ocean and how our words to each other can cause a ripple effect of love, Kindness and Hope.

 


Drop a pebble in the water: just a splash, and it is gone;
But there’s half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on,
Spreading, spreading from the center, flowing on out to the sea.
And there is no way of telling where the end is going to be.

Drop a pebble in the water: in a minute you forget,
But there’s little waves a-flowing, and there’s ripples circling yet,
And those little waves a-flowing to a great big wave have grown;
You’ve disturbed a mighty river just by dropping in a stone.

Drop an unkind word, or careless: in a minute it is gone;
But there’s half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on.
They keep spreading, spreading, spreading from the center as they go,
And there is no way to stop them, once you’ve started them to flow.

Drop an unkind word, or careless: in a minute you forget;
But there’s little waves a-flowing, and there’s ripples circling yet,
And perhaps in some sad heart a mighty wave of tears you’ve stirred,
And disturbed a life was happy ere you dropped that unkind word.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness: just a flash and it is gone;
But there’s half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on,
Bearing hope and joy and comfort on each splashing, dashing wave
Till you wouldn’t believe the volume of the one kind word you gave.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness: in a minute you forget;
But there’s gladness still a-swelling, and there’s joy acircling yet,
And you’ve rolled a wave of comfort whose sweet music can be heard
Over miles and miles of water just by dropping one kind word.

 
- written by James W. Foley

 


__________________
courage does not always roar. sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day
saying.. i will try again tomorrow.
~maryanne radmacher
Indigoblue

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Queen Blue Sky & Golden Light
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Reply with quote  #34 
Carrie,
Gentle hugs, dearest friend!  This is a lovely place to visit... I love it!
Faerie kisses... I believe in faeries, angels, spirits, and feel comfort when I feel they are near.  Sometimes, to give a faerie kiss, get really close to someone's face, and blink your eyelash~ softly~ back and forth... faerie kisses. 

Beautiful poems, Carrie.  Thank you for this secret hiding place... with prayers.

Love,
Indi
csp

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Reply with quote  #35 

 



Courage - fear that has said its prayers.
- Dorothy Bernard


__________________
courage does not always roar. sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day
saying.. i will try again tomorrow.
~maryanne radmacher
seychelles

Goddess
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Posts: 176
Reply with quote  #36 
Dear Carrie,

Every evening I turn my worries over to God. He's going to be up all night anyway. ~Mary C. Crowley

I'll be there in spirit with you tomorrow.

Love,
seychelles
mommaj

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Reply with quote  #37 

Fear can keep us up all night long,
but faith makes one fine pillow.

-- Philip Gulley

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Janeen Stoever

"And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?...Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:27,34
csp

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Reply with quote  #38 
Mommaj
I like your tag I really need to get my head wrapped around that. I do way too much worry.

__________________
courage does not always roar. sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day
saying.. i will try again tomorrow.
~maryanne radmacher
csp

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Reply with quote  #39 
 Today I thank God for the rad machine I hear that it bites but  has to to crush the cancer cells .
 
Here is something my long time neighbor sent to me thought you might like it too.
 
 


If your cup seems too bitter,
If your burden seems to heavy,
Be sure that it is the wounded hand
that is holding the cup, that it is He
who carries the the cross is carrying
the burden.
unknown

__________________
courage does not always roar. sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day
saying.. i will try again tomorrow.
~maryanne radmacher
csp

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Posts: 1,940
Reply with quote  #40 
 For Indi~





I awake to the magic

Filling my room and

There is Fairy pirouetting through the air,

Glowing with light and spreading

Moonbeams and stardust

Oh! What a beautiful sight.

My fairy is so special and always there

In the quiet of my room,

Where nobody sees.

And from the golden mushroom which is

Her throne

She excitedly beckons me –

With her special wand,

Lets play, she giggles,

Go on an enchanted journey, to wonderland.

What fun we have without a care,

In a blink we are here and then there,

Joyful places where everything

Is bright and so happy

It dazzles me.

My fairy is so precious,

 She gently enfolds me when I am scared

And knows how to soothe me when I am hurt.

Fairy laughs with me and cries with me

We will always be friends.

In the quiet of my room its fairy and me

And magic time.

                                                                                Pia


 

__________________
courage does not always roar. sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day
saying.. i will try again tomorrow.
~maryanne radmacher
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