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AlaskaDeb

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Reply with quote  #1 
OK....I was feeling good, feeling strong about the treatment I start tomorrow....and then I read an article about mets that states less that 10% live 10 years, less than 25% live 5 years....and I am a sobbing mess again!  I feel like I got kicked in the gut.
 
It's not like I don't know the odds....just seeing it in print again took my breath away.
 
Girls, I really don't know how to do this.  How do I ignore all the bad news and stay positive? 
 
You guys are going to get so sick of me.....
 
Deb C

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ShirleyHughes

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Reply with quote  #2 
Deb, no one will ever get sick of you. 
 
We don't know each other well.  I PMd you once about a question and you answered.  Thank you. 
 
I have read many of your posts.  You have always been so supportive and sweet.  It is your time to get the support.  Never, never feel bad about posting your feelings.  Gina has created this safe place.
 
I have often thought about getting the "news."  It's hard to even say the word.  I wonder if I would have the strength to do this again.  I found my strength knowing that people were praying for me because God knows I couldn't have done it without Him.  And my strength also came from my children, husband and friends.  I didn't have a gazillion friends doing for me, but just the couple I had was enough and I KNEW they cared.
 
Deb, it's time to fight this crap again, and I know you will do that.  We'll ALL be praying that God will give you the strength.  And that He allows you to dance with NED again. 
 
I know your last treatments are still so very clear in your mind.  And how we all were so grateful to be done with them.  But, you got what it takes to fight again.  Yeah, it's easy for me to say.  But I know you will fight for YOU and your family.
 
I will be praying for you Deb.  Try to concentrate on getting well and phooey with the "odds."  My daughter's stepMIL has been battling mets for a couple of years now, and her docs wrote her off.  Just goes to show you.  It can be done and you WILL do it.
 
Hugs,
Shirley
Fancy

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Reply with quote  #3 
Quote:
....and then I read an article about mets that states less that 10% live 10 years, less than 25% live 5 years....and I am a sobbing mess again!


Oh Deb

{{{{{Deb}}}}} hugs to you.

That statistic includes EVERY woman with mets in the entire world.  That includes women with liver and brain and lung mets as well as women like you with a few nodes.  That also includes women who refused all treatment.   It doesn't take too many women with massive mets to really skew things. 
You aren't in the same place as they are.

Don't read too much into the numbers.  10% + 25% = 35% that lived less than 5 years.  Soooooooo, what happened to the other 65%?  Darlin' they lived MORE than 5 years.

I know you're terrified.
  Don't panic.  We'll help you get through this.

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suzfive

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Reply with quote  #4 
Deb,

Try not to look at statistics - one YOU ARE NOT A STATISTIC! and two - by the time stats get published they are old - newer treatments are being used and more coming through the pipeline and they do lump everyone together so those stats are skewed anyways as Fancy has said.

I am praying that your treatment will kick this cancer @$$ to the curb and you will once again be dancing with NED.

Love and hugs,
Suz

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CherylG

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Reply with quote  #5 
DEB.... STEP AWAY FROM THE STATS!!!!!
I agree with the others , you are not a statistic and you are not in a bad place with node mets. The stats are about all women with mets including brain and lung etc...
You are strong and you can do this... give God the wheel.... BELIEVE
And don't ever think we will get sick of you. You were always there for us ... it's our turn to take care of you.
We love you DEB
Hugs
CherylG

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DoreenF

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Reply with quote  #6 
Deb -   I agree totally with earlier posts ...  those stats are OLD ... there are many many many new weapons ...   AND you are not a statistic ...   you have wonderful doctors who are on top of things - they are going to monitor you even more closely now ...    you are going to fight with everything you've got ...    which is much better than what our sisters 5 or 10 years ago had ...   

I'm sending you lots of hugs and prayers ...   I hope that you can get back to how you were feeling earlier ... and urge you to stay away from the statistics - for your own emotional health ...   they don't do you any good!

Love and Hugs,
Doreen


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ShirleyHughes

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Reply with quote  #7 
Deb, may I say one more thing.  The pastor's wife of the church I used to attend
had brain mets.  I know her mets was in a different place.  However, they only gave her six months to live.  She's LIVING and it's been at least four years since she was dxd with mets.  She's doing great.  She was triple negative.

Walk away from all that old info. 
 
Hugs,
Shirley
DoreenF

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Reply with quote  #8 
Deb - one more thing from me too ...   your emotions are still RAW from being diagnosed with mets ... it doesn't take much to take you back to the moment and emotions when you first learned you might have mets and then again when you were told that you have mets ...  it will take you some time to get to a new normal - and even then there will be events/news that will take you back and make you an emotional "mess" again ...  

I can only imagine what you're going through ...   and certainly hope that you can get yourself back to that calmer, stronger place soon  - so that things are easier for you...

Hugs,
Doreen


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AlaskaDeb

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Reply with quote  #9 
I wish I had another word besides THANK YOU.  Somehow it doesn't seem like a big enough word.  I am already doing better. 
 
John was watching a movie last night.  I think it was called 'Angels in the Outfield".  There is this little optomistic kid who wants his baseball team, who is in last place, to win the world series.   He keeps saying
 
"It could happen!"
 
He had a really cool look on his face when he said it....
 
I plan on saying that to myself a lot in the next few days....
 
NED.....It could happen
 
Love you guys
Deb C

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DoreenF

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Reply with quote  #10 
Deb - it absolutely could happen ... and with all of us praying for you and fighting right by your side ... it's got to happen ... 

I'm soooo relieved that you've got a new mantra and that you can feel our love and support ... 

Love and Hugs,
Doreen


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samdah

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Reply with quote  #11 
It can absolutely happen!

I am just like you where I can read one or two things and I can feel myself starting to lose it.

These days, I just keep reminding myself that I am doing the things the doctors say will work.

And, anything that makes you feel good, is GREAT!

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nosurrender

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Reply with quote  #12 
Deb, there is a very strange phenomenon that happens when we read stats. For some reason, the moment we read them we automatically put ourselves on the negative side of the statistical number. Why? SOMEONE has to make up the POSITIVE side- otherwise there wouldn't be stats!

So WHY NOT YOU? WHY can't YOU be the person who is in the long-term survival side?  I believe. I believe. I believe.
YOU are the one people will say, "Well, I have a friend named Deb, who has been living with mets for 10 years so far."
IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.

And I BELIEVE it will happen for YOU.

Next time you hear a stat, remember, YOU are the one who makes up the POSITIVE side. And if you get any doubts, just say this mantra

WHY NOT?

(((((BIG LOVE TO YOU!!))))
g


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chemoabi

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Reply with quote  #13 
Hi  DebC:  I missed this whole thread as I have been hiding under the covers with the crud. 
 
Everyone has said things so well.  Especially about statistics.  Besides the statistics being old like others have said - remember stats are numbers.  Collected and studied by humans who could manipulate those numbers to accomplish what they are trying to prove.
 
The day I stopped looking at statistics was the day I realized that they include all ages.  Those stats include little old 80 y/o's who god bless have lived along life, just happen to have mets, and succumb to some other health issue are included!  Those numbers are soooo old and sooooo inaccurate.
 
Things have changed dramtically in the treatment of mets. 
 
I also believe that frame of mind is as important as all treatment.  My mom was a good example of that.  When she was diagnosed she has extensive liver mets from her bc.  Being Italian and having a goofy family, they never told my mom about the liver mets.  She went through treatment and lives for another 12 years.  Passing at the age of 78 from heart failure, not breast cancer.
 
I agree with Gina.  You will be the one who makes the positive side!  I just know it.
 
Nicki

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ShirleyHughes

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Reply with quote  #14 
What I want to say for now is, WELCOME BACK, DEB!  That doesn't mean you can't have your "ups and downs."  We ALL have emotional garbage we deal with. 
 
You CAN do it! 
 
God bless you my dear.
Shirley
ShirleyHughes

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Reply with quote  #15 
One more thing...I'm sitting here with a goofy smile on my face.  Hope dh doesn't walk in.  I don't want to explain my smile.LOL
Shirley
CherylG

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Reply with quote  #16 
Glad you're feeling better about it all .... I say it WILL happen for you Deb... the mind is a strong ally in this fight and you are a strong lady and I am sure you will be back dancing with NED.
Love and hugs
CherylG

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Madison

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Reply with quote  #17 

Deb,     love you.............TOGETHER we will fight and you will be NED!!!


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